what having boundaries with personal resources really means

i love supporting my people, my community, marginalized and invisibilized folks, people with whom i resonate, and those i share common challenges with. i enjoy doing so in a way that is not only nourishing to those receiving from me, but also a healthy choice for myself and others concerned or involved. i am disinclined to engage with people who feel expectant or entitled to me or my resources. passive-aggressiveness is also met with deaf ears. i shared the below mapping on my instagram stories a few weeks ago and many people found resonance. so i am sharing it again here. peace <3

just because someone is:

  • a woman

  • a woman of color

  • a person who i share commonalities with

  • a person i generally like

does not mean i will automatically do what they want me to do, give them what they want from me, or hook them up with resources (people, things, institutions)

this does not mean that: 

  • i’m a hater

  • i’m being competitive

  • i’m hoarding resources 

  • i’m reveling in gatekeeping

  • i’m operating from ego

  • i don’t like a given person 

  • i don’t respect a given person

  • i don’t want everyone to win

this does mean that:

  • i am very discerning

  • i am very deliberate/purposeful 

  • i take very seriously who and what i offer my time, energy, resources, and co-sign to

  • i honor my boundaries and capacity 

  • i don’t owe anyone anything 

  • i am courteous of my network and their time, energy, and boundaries

  • i have no interest in doing something i don’t want to just because someone else wants me to