the matrix is real. meaning, much of what we experience is unreal. how do we contend with this in a physical reality?
i have more to say about this, and a lot of things, really. but the timing of when i feel called to share is everything— and i don’t feel like breaking down my insights and inner workings very often. i know folks find it helpful and after i’ve written something out, i find it rewarding for myself as well. but what about my personal peace and honoring my flow— even when it’s inconvenient and prohibitive?
yet still, what about wanting all that while also wanting to be seen and to make a living from my ideas and expressions?
ego doesn’t trust the flow, i know that much. ego wants sense. ego wants instant gratification. ego wants proof. reason. promises. guarantees. ego gets uncomfortable and pissed and confused and insecure and questioning everything real fast.
this online realm— where our ideas and we ourselves seemingly cease to exist unless we publish them— creates a lot of tension, discord, and dissonance within me. sometimes i feel like the internet wants me sucked dry for all i have to give and i’ll just lie there lifeless getting stepped over while the world continues to spin on.
a very reasonable possibility, if i allow my ego to drive and don’t check my priorities.
some thoughts on balance, tending to my truth, and ultimately— opting out of the game, on all levels. <3
wanting recognition